Evolution my arse.

Adam: I wish there was something more to...
God: Psst.
Adam: Huh?
God: Psst. Psst. Over here.
Adam: Where? Who? What?
God: Over here you moron. Here. Here!
Adam: Who... what are you?
God: Dude, it’s me, your creator, the Supreme Being, the guy in-charge.
Adam: I don’t understand.
God: Screw that. Listen, I came up with something really kewl last night. It’s still just a prototype but I think it kicks arse. Check it out.
Adam: What is it?
God: I call it... an apple!
Adam: What does it do?
God: It... well... uh... I don’t know actually. Maybe you should eat it or something.
Adam: What? Why would I do that?
God: Because I command you to! God damn it, I’m the friggin’ higher power here and you’ll do what I tell you to! Comprende?
Adam: And if I don’t?
God: Then... uh... see that big mother of a serpent over there. I’m gonna command him to crawl up your $%@#!
Adam: Fine. I’ll do as you wish.
God: Good, now eat the bloody apple.
Adam: But what about Eve?
God: Fuck Eve!
Adam: Okay.

Ta Daa!