Reincarnation

after she slit her wrist, she sat still on the floor by the wall.

the blood, forming a thin film, spread over the floor. this would be the evidence. mahesh would never question her love anymore.

it hurt a bit as the blood slowly gushed out. pulsing, draining out of her. there it goes now, she thought, under her third year history books, the katoree cum ash ray, the tarantino soundtrack cds, the rug and finally the doors. she imagined the blood going under the shoes kept out. or did they? she thought, did they just go really close and maintaian a micrometre of clear space, fimd imsignificant passages of space through and beneath the soles. she saw a picture of a shoe levitating on that clear space over a pool of red.

how will things be with mahesh, she asked herself. would he start dating someone else? would he start fucking her right away? would they wait? for a year? for a month? for a week? for a day? would he be shattered? would he finally stop doubting her? would he kill himself too? would he by lying here too? would he be thinking what she was thinking?

it's been a minute, she also thought, and i haven't blinked.

she blinked.

she was in a forest. a forest with large rocks of mud. the sun, a morning sun, stole in through the leaves.

no they weren't leaves. in fact they weren't even trees.

they were giant crops. towering green strands fifty times her.

and there in the clearing was mahesh.

she knew him by his shorts, his running shoes, his t-shirt (she'd worn it on numerous occasions), his old tape playing walkman that he insisted on not replacing.

i was him. it couldn't be anyone else.

she ran.

she ran to tell him what she'd done. ran to hug him, to hold him close, feel his beating heart thud next to hers.

closer and closer, she realised something was amiss. he was large. he was way to large. he was a giant.

with everything she had, she screamed out his name. busy at his crunches, he was too busy to notice.

she jumped and crawled up his hand.

in an instant, she knew what to do.

she'd get to his eye, peer in and grab his attention.

mahesh, she would say, i love you.

hopping on to his shirt, she rushed across his t-shirt to his neck.

up his chin, moving slowly to his chin to his nose, to his ey...

mahesh smacked his cheek, pulling off the twitching ant that had made his way to his eye.

fuck, he said, as he crumpled what was left of the ant and threw it to the side, that almost got me.